Carry that Weight
What is the difference between a fish and a shoe? A fish doesn't have a ...
It is said that money makes the world go round1.
In a literal sense, this isn’t true. The world was spinning long before money was invented2.
In the figurative sense, this is extremely true. the Newslettr would love to use money to build and promote its intellectual property. But before it can do that, we need to wait for established Standards and Practices.
but first, the week’s news.
a redirect: for information about the situation in the Ukraine region, please read:
programming note: we are working on the Classifieds section. pardon the dust.
Rain Check: A letter from a field agent:
When I was younger, heaven and earth could not keep me from a woman I wanted. As I have grown older, I have matured. Now when heaven and earth conspire against me, I am quite happy to take a rain check3.
To a certain extent, this philosophy is learned dependent on geography. In the Midwest US, you learn at a young age that when there is a threat of a tornado4 or 6+ inches of snow, you cancel outings first and negotiate the terms of a raincheck elsewhen5.
Twisters and Vibes: Our reporters have told us that an event named “vibecamp” was recently held, possibly in the state of Texas. This is one of those events that you’re not supposed to talk about … so of course there are dozens of posts on Twitter describing6 it in quite a lot of detail.
We have not inquired whether the unexpected March 5th tornado near our offices was related to a magickal spell cast at that event. As a reminder, ever since the incident involving a volcano erupting, the Yevaud Newslettr does not publicly endorse, condone, or describe magickal acts.
Kissing Hands: the Newslettr recently discussed the situation in Canada involving protests. Apparently somebody got around to telling Trudeau fils what a political crisis is, and he flew to Windsor Castle to pay homage to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
A correspondent tells the Newslettr that while the Queen’s health is no longer in immediate danger, she might never leave Windsor Castle alive again. This is no real inconvenience: she has servants to deal with the mundanities of life, can conduct videoconferences for most meetings, and when necessary, demands pompous underlings like Trudeau fils and Boris Johnson come to her.
Gambling Man: A news story from ESPN about an NFL player being suspended for gambling. As an editorial position, the Newslettr opposes the current availability of gambling, and supports efforts to reduce its prevalence. We may have a column on this at a later date.
A joke so bad they sacked the ushers:
A joke so bad that the author should probably be fired for it. Our apologies. For inscrutable reasons, Mr. Devereaux actually does appear to be without a job after the end of the academic year. He should have no problem earning a living as a full-time blogger. Presumably somebody reading this is debating whether to refer Mr. Devereaux to the Substack Advance program, or to hire him directly.
Also The Hiring Desk: From Twitter, another excellent person is looking for work: Susie Cagle. She is a journalist and a cartoonist, and excellent at both. Her iconic “America in the garbage can dot jpg” is … well, iconic. She also cracked the case of the Google Bus protest.
Rigetti University: The latest installment in Susan Rigetti’s curricula is out, this one on Mathematics.
https://www.susanrigetti.com/math is the URL. She has once again done excellent work. One disclaimer from the link: “This guide only covers an undergraduate mathematics curriculum, because, unlike the fields of physics and philosophy (both of which I have studied at the graduate level), that’s where my math knowledge ends.”
From The Archives: the Newslettr does expect that children benefit from at least 4 years of in-person education. We wrote some of our thoughts up last September.
Some Legal Terminology
No funny7 business in the classifieds.
If you’re still reading … there is a contest here. What is the answer to the riddle in the subtitle? As this is our first contest, we’re not sure whether the rule should be “incorrect answers only” or “first correct answer gets an ad in next week’s newslettr”.
In the vernacular, the phrase “go round” means “to rotate on its axis”, not “to become spherical due to the force of gravity”.
Depending on how you define the terms, perhaps money was in use before invention was invented.
There are several possible definitions for “rain check”. In third place, we have “looking out your window to check if it is raining”. In second place, we have “a coupon you get when the grocery store is out of an item on discount”. But here, a rain check is “if the event is cancelled due to weather, check your ticket to find the make-up date”.
Any friend of the Newslettr surely has seen The Wizard of Oz, possibly the single-most famous film from the 20th century.
As far as I am aware, “elsewhen” is less an English word than “thrice” is. The intended meaning should be clear: “elsewhere” means a different place (either north or south), “elsewhen” means a different time (either before or after, but certainly not when the sirens are blaring).
Some of the stories on the Nets are obviously real. Others are obviously fake. You will have to do the due diligence yourself.
What did the cannibal say to the clown? Does this taste funny to you? If it involves cannibalism, changing diapers, or anything serious enough where you give the soldiers real guns, it is funny business.